Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Monday, February 25, 2008
Tomorrow my dad meets with an oncology urologist. . . to consider chemo or radiation. Ughh. Last week he found out that his cancer was the most aggressive kind - that is why they are taking this step. I will keep you posted.
We have several night plans this week - tonight my bible study. Tomorrow night we are going to a new members class at our church (mainly because the others in our small group are new) Then Wednesday we have a meeting with our financial guy. Friday I think Steph may come hang out for the evening - which would be GREAT!
That's it here for now!
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Today I took Emily to school. Then Maddie and I went to the library. She picked out A LOT of books, some movies, and 2 cd's. Then we came home and read a little before her nap. I made these delicious stuffed shells for dinner. Here is a precious picture Brian took of the girls. They are such sweet sisters. I love these two!
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Here is an update on us:
My dad had his follow-up appointment on Tuesday. His cancer was level 3 - the most aggressive type - bad news. So- next week he will meet with an oncology urologist about the potential for chemo or radiation - bummer!
Brian has been on call since Friday - and it has been crazy. Sunday he had a "dead body at Comfort Inn." (A guy had killed himself - and Brian and another det. had to tell the guy's wife - Bri said it was "traumatic!") His call ends on Friday morning. We are ready! Everytime his cell phone rings I fear!
I am dealing better with the 5 day week schedule - it is just a bummer that we can't do so many fun family things.
An old friend (actually of my sister's) is going to disciple me. I'm excited (and scared) about it. We are starting next week - as I start a Beth Moore study at my church next Monday. (the first I've ever done). I know this will be a challenge but good for me.
March 12 is my ultrasound day - when we will find out if it is a Boy or a Girl!
Saturday, February 16, 2008
Tonight we went to look at a mini-van Brian found online. We will probably end up buying it. We'll see.
Then we ate at Fazoli's. Then hit home for quick kid baths. Tonight is Saturday Night Movie night, you know. It was my turn to choose - and at the urging of both girls - I chose "Snow Buddies" a Valentine's gift from Papaw. It was cute.
The girls are now quietly tucked into bed together.
Tomorrow we have church, then small group in the evening.
Friday, February 15, 2008
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Anyway - considering my dad had an organ removed - he is doing GREAT! He hopes to go home tomorrow!
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
the surgery went very well. they did all they planned to do - nothing unexpected was found.
it seemed to be best case scenario. . . i could feel the prayers of friends, as i had very little anxiety today.
the worst was seeing my dad after surgery. i don't do well with that. i'm pretty much a big wimp. he let out two separate moans and i was down for the count. . . pretty much ran for the door almost in tears. it just stresses me out!
anyway - we plan to be back at the hospital tomorrow - and probably thurs. . .
Monday, February 11, 2008
My dad's surgery is tomorrow - Tuesday. It is at 2:30pm and is to take at least 3 hours.
He is to be there at noon.
We plan to be there then, too.
We are expecting lots of snow tonight - so pray that we will all get there safely and on time.
Thank you for your support and prayers!
We don't know what this week will hold - but we are playing it by ear. Brian plans to work tomorrow morning - then he is off the rest of the week so we can be flexible.
Sunday, February 10, 2008
I'm now 14 weeks pregnant - still not showing a bit. Feeling pretty good - But I still have waves of nausea that take me by surprise. Tuesday is my dad's surgery - and I'm starting to get anxious about it.
Friday, February 8, 2008
Thursday, February 7, 2008
I am not posting to elicit sympathy. I just had that post in me and wanted to get it written out.
But, thank you much for your thoughtful words. They made me cry. They encouraged me. But, unfortunately, when you have that deep seated belief - it doesn't seem others words are affective. I wish I knew what was affective!
I have greatly limited my reader list. I have offed all relatives. I just want to be free to write what I want without judgement.
This has just een a tough couples of weeks. When things get hard - I just want to shut down and sleep.
So, I was already reeling from my dad's cancer when my mom dropped her loving words.
Here's what you need to know about my mom. She is VERY non-nurturing. She is VERY negative. She is VERY critical. She is a hard worker. She is very creative. But she cares more about doing and and accomplishing than people. Her words do not surprise me - but they still hurt and offend me.
My dad's surgery is Tuesday at 2:30pm on the north side of Indy. He is to be there at noon. Brian is taking the day off to be there with me. His dad is watching the kids. We are fairly set.
That is the scoop from here.
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
I can tell you a vivid picture of where it came from.
When my dad left - moved out. (This was before he left for good - just a vacation from the family of sorts.) He was staying in an apartment less that 2 miles from our house. My mom took me up to visit him. He was sitting on the floor of an empty apartment with a phone and a lamp. Period. I begged him to come home. And he gave me the "this isn't about you. you don't understand." speech. I remember thinking, "THIS is more than me. This empty apartment is better than me."
Sometimes when my parents would fight they would go out into the garage. I would stand at the door singing songs from Annie at the top of my lungs. I remember thinking, "maybe if I'm adorable enough, dad won't leave."
Well, he left.
I was not enough.
Even today, I find myself in arguments with my husband saying, "It's like I'm not enough."
So, when I am already plagued with these thoughts, you can imagine the horror when you have a mother who writes out your worst fears about yourself as fact. I am not enough.
Saturday, February 2, 2008
Note on last post: I thought you all would think I was CRAZY - and you all pull out the "you are such a cool mom." So funny! That was something I had seen done I think at church camp back in the day - and it is seriously hilarious. You have to be purposely expressive with your mouth. It is great entertainment.