Update on Dad

My dad is going to go through 4 months of chemo.

It will be 2 weeks on 3 weeks off.

They are saying it won't be that bad - should be fairly mild.

We will see!

Another family adventure!

Bible Study

Tonight was my first night of the Beth Moore study Breaking Free. I was anxious about it going in - but I really enjoyed it and am excited about it, now.

Tomorrow my dad meets with an oncology urologist. . . to consider chemo or radiation. Ughh. Last week he found out that his cancer was the most aggressive kind - that is why they are taking this step. I will keep you posted.

We have several night plans this week - tonight my bible study. Tomorrow night we are going to a new members class at our church (mainly because the others in our small group are new) Then Wednesday we have a meeting with our financial guy. Friday I think Steph may come hang out for the evening - which would be GREAT!

That's it here for now!

Worn Out

Today, Emily had a birthday party at a local gymnastics place. It is a friend of hers from pre-school. When we got the invitation - I knew this would be right down her alley. She LOVED every minute of the two hours. I think she took about 10 minutes away from the gym to eat 3 pieces of pizza and a cup of ice cream. She was worn out - as you can see by the last picture of her laying on the trampoline. Now, if only I had this equipment at home! :)

Walkin in a Winter Wonderland

Tonight we took a walk in the snow! I knew the girls would love tromping in the white stuff. It was COLD! We weren't out there long, but they loved it!

Here is Emily peeking out the front door.

Mads out in the snow!

Brian took this earlier this week. He was cracking up at her in the mask.

Today I took Emily to school. Then Maddie and I went to the library. She picked out A LOT of books, some movies, and 2 cd's. Then we came home and read a little before her nap. I made these delicious stuffed shells for dinner. Here is a precious picture Brian took of the girls. They are such sweet sisters. I love these two!

Update

Friends - I am going to have to spice up the ole blog - or ya'll are gonna quit me! :)

Here is an update on us:

My dad had his follow-up appointment on Tuesday. His cancer was level 3 - the most aggressive type - bad news. So- next week he will meet with an oncology urologist about the potential for chemo or radiation - bummer!

Brian has been on call since Friday - and it has been crazy. Sunday he had a "dead body at Comfort Inn." (A guy had killed himself - and Brian and another det. had to tell the guy's wife - Bri said it was "traumatic!") His call ends on Friday morning. We are ready! Everytime his cell phone rings I fear!

I am dealing better with the 5 day week schedule - it is just a bummer that we can't do so many fun family things.

An old friend (actually of my sister's) is going to disciple me. I'm excited (and scared) about it. We are starting next week - as I start a Beth Moore study at my church next Monday. (the first I've ever done). I know this will be a challenge but good for me.

Oh,

March 12 is my ultrasound day - when we will find out if it is a Boy or a Girl!

Nothing Too Exciting

Today was low key.

Tonight we went to look at a mini-van Brian found online. We will probably end up buying it. We'll see.

Then we ate at Fazoli's. Then hit home for quick kid baths. Tonight is Saturday Night Movie night, you know. It was my turn to choose - and at the urging of both girls - I chose "Snow Buddies" a Valentine's gift from Papaw. It was cute.

The girls are now quietly tucked into bed together.

Tomorrow we have church, then small group in the evening.

Children's Museum

Our pass expires in March - and we don't think we're going to renew it right away - so we wanted to fit in one more trip. It was quite fun. We were there for about 3 hours. Here is Emily operating a robot.

We also got to do some "does this sink or float" experiments in the Curious George area. Don't they make cute scientists?

A photo op with George, himself. Daddy dressed them in their coordinating black today - I thought they looked so cute!

And, tonight we painted before bedtime. . . I got these weird sponge things from my dad's hospital room. They used one (from a bag of about 20) when he was fresh out of surgery to give him a little water. It is bascially a small sponge on the end of a stick. When I saw the bag full of them - all I could think is "those would be fun to paint wiht!!!" They even have fun texture to them. . .

oh yes - and my dad went home yesterday at 4:30pm. (He actually GOT home at that time.) He is doing super. He goes to the doctore on Tuesday to have his catheter removed and to find out what pathology learned.

V-Day a day late!

On Valentine's Day - I went to Emily's class party. Only, instead you go for the WHOLE 3 hours. It wore me out! Here she is with her friend, Cami.

Here are some of the Valentine treats waiting to be discovered. . .

and a few more. Brian made me this cool framed picture with a million memories and reasons he loves me on it.

And what love day would be complete without a little wrestling with daddy? :)

Dad is Great!

Brian and I went to see my dad today around 10:30am. I was SHOCKED at how well he was doing! He was sitting up in his bed. He looked totally normal - except for the hospital gown! He had already done several laps around the hospital floor. He and Brian walked the floor for about 30 minutes. They wore me out after several laps. Anyway - he has continued to get good reports from the doctors. The scariest thing I have heard so far he told me this morning. Because the kidney flows to the ureter flows to the bladder. . . because his kidney had cancer - they took the ureter. (I'm not sure if it was "just in case" - but I'm thinking they had reason to think they needed to - because it made the surgery much more invasive.) Anyway - he will have to have his bladder checked every 3 months for a year. The one doctor told him there is a 30% chance some cancer will show up in his bladder at some point - the doctor said, "I look at it like a weed in a flower patch. At that point, I'd just go in using laproscopy and get the cancer out." A simplified, positive outlook, I'd say. But a reality we may have to deal with.

Anyway - considering my dad had an organ removed - he is doing GREAT! He hopes to go home tomorrow!

Surgery Over and Done

hey friends - just wanted to update you on my dad.

the surgery went very well. they did all they planned to do - nothing unexpected was found.

it seemed to be best case scenario. . . i could feel the prayers of friends, as i had very little anxiety today.

the worst was seeing my dad after surgery. i don't do well with that. i'm pretty much a big wimp. he let out two separate moans and i was down for the count. . . pretty much ran for the door almost in tears. it just stresses me out!

anyway - we plan to be back at the hospital tomorrow - and probably thurs. . .

Dad's Surgery

Hey friends -

My dad's surgery is tomorrow - Tuesday. It is at 2:30pm and is to take at least 3 hours.

He is to be there at noon.

We plan to be there then, too.

We are expecting lots of snow tonight - so pray that we will all get there safely and on time.

Thank you for your support and prayers!

We don't know what this week will hold - but we are playing it by ear. Brian plans to work tomorrow morning - then he is off the rest of the week so we can be flexible.

Movie Night

Brian has deemed Saturday nights - Movie Night. Here are the girls cuddled up watching The Little Mermaid. It was Maddie's turn to pick the movie.

Here Madeline updates her blog! :)

My baby - until August! :)

I'm now 14 weeks pregnant - still not showing a bit. Feeling pretty good - But I still have waves of nausea that take me by surprise. Tuesday is my dad's surgery - and I'm starting to get anxious about it.

Cute Maddie

These are some cute shots I took at lunch today of Maddie. Brian's dad came and took us to McD for lunch today.

Maddie is too chicken to go in the playland - so she spends most of her time on this bar. . .

Have I mentioned what a sweetheart she is?

Tough times

I wanted to fill you all in on a few things:

I am not posting to elicit sympathy. I just had that post in me and wanted to get it written out.
But, thank you much for your thoughtful words. They made me cry. They encouraged me. But, unfortunately, when you have that deep seated belief - it doesn't seem others words are affective. I wish I knew what was affective!

I have greatly limited my reader list. I have offed all relatives. I just want to be free to write what I want without judgement.

This has just een a tough couples of weeks. When things get hard - I just want to shut down and sleep.

So, I was already reeling from my dad's cancer when my mom dropped her loving words.

Here's what you need to know about my mom. She is VERY non-nurturing. She is VERY negative. She is VERY critical. She is a hard worker. She is very creative. But she cares more about doing and and accomplishing than people. Her words do not surprise me - but they still hurt and offend me.

My dad's surgery is Tuesday at 2:30pm on the north side of Indy. He is to be there at noon. Brian is taking the day off to be there with me. His dad is watching the kids. We are fairly set.

That is the scoop from here.

Not Enough

One of the false beliefs that was ingrained in me in childhood is: I am not enough.

I can tell you a vivid picture of where it came from.

When my dad left - moved out. (This was before he left for good - just a vacation from the family of sorts.) He was staying in an apartment less that 2 miles from our house. My mom took me up to visit him. He was sitting on the floor of an empty apartment with a phone and a lamp. Period. I begged him to come home. And he gave me the "this isn't about you. you don't understand." speech. I remember thinking, "THIS is more than me. This empty apartment is better than me."

Sometimes when my parents would fight they would go out into the garage. I would stand at the door singing songs from Annie at the top of my lungs. I remember thinking, "maybe if I'm adorable enough, dad won't leave."

Well, he left.

I was not enough.

Even today, I find myself in arguments with my husband saying, "It's like I'm not enough."

So, when I am already plagued with these thoughts, you can imagine the horror when you have a mother who writes out your worst fears about yourself as fact. I am not enough.

Long Nights, Long Days

Brian's schedule may be the end of me. He is working 5 days in a row now. (We have established how hard THAT transition has been for me. . . ) And he also worked overtime (extra security for a separate company) BOTH nights this weekend - ALL NIGHT. This means he sleeps a big chunk of the next day - and is typically cranky. I need a break - and a tired, cranky, over-worked husband added to a tired, cranky, over-worked wife is not a good combo. Needless to say - today was a rough day. We ended it with dinner at Pizza King and groceries at Meijer. Meijer had this WONDERFUL cart that played cartoons for the kids. I could go off on technology and can't kids just shop wihtout a tv, etc - but it CHANGED MY LIFE. I haven't ever had such a great shopping experience with kids. I highly recommend the carts. Brian pointed out at the end that they cost $1. I probably wouldn't have gotten one if I realized this. So, actually, I stole it. . . but after shopping with it - I was tempted to tip the thing a $5. You need to try this!

I came home and threw the girls in the tub for a quick bath (it was already passed bedtime)

Little Miss Madeline got some new jammies at Meijer - so cute.

I love when they are clean and smelling good!

Note on last post: I thought you all would think I was CRAZY - and you all pull out the "you are such a cool mom." So funny! That was something I had seen done I think at church camp back in the day - and it is seriously hilarious. You have to be purposely expressive with your mouth. It is great entertainment.

The Funny Show

We often watch America's Funniest Home Videos as a family. The girls call it "The Funny Show." Tonight - I had the brilliant idea of putting on a funny show of my own for the girls. I painted a face on my chin - covered up the rest of me - and voila - Funny! You need to try this if you are feeling extra nutty. After I had lost all sense and all the blood had drained to my head - the girls insisted on getting faces on their chins, too! Please don't think we're TOO crazy. Actually, my husband laughed more than the girls.

Emily and her silly chin face!

The three of us with eyes on our chins. . .